Routines

I can't believe it's the end of week 7...I only have 2 weeks left. It's crazy how fast it flies by. The other day, Andrew asked me how long you have to be in a place to say you lived there. I think it's an interesting thing to consider. Personally, I think once you establish a routine and stop counting days, you can say you live there.  So, I'm claiming now (since I have a routine and I don't count the days--which is why it goes by so fast) that I have lived in Zambia. And it's amazing. I wish I could stop time though--its going by way too fast.

This week I was able to visit and audit all the LCA's. One day a piece. I had reeeeally long days, but it was such a blessing to meet all the teachers and to see how school is run day to day. I felt a little too official with my laptop during observations, but it was great to see the strengths and weaknesses at each. Most of the teachers are so sweet and they care so much about the children--some walk 3 hours to and from school (6 hours every day)... craaaazy. But they want to be there for these orphans. It was also really neat to critically analyze and think about how I could help make them become better teachers...a completely different role for me.

In the midst of all these educational tasks, we have our largest amount of Americans here this week--100ish. It's crazy how different weeks of camp can be. This week, the Americans are extremely inquisitive... they want to know everything, which isn't a bad thing. But last night at dinner was extremely difficult for me. Since I've been thinking so much this week, my mind is tired, the last thing I wanted to do was think about how to best answer people's questions. Well yesterday, because of the amount of questions and the length of time at dinner, it was hard. Really hard. The longer discussions went, the heavier I felt. My mind and my flesh screamed at me to just get up and walk out... to leave because I felt sooo weak, and I wasn't the only one. If you were aware, you could see exhaustion set in to everyone... it's as if bodies just shrunk--heads were laid down or back on the seat, shoulders were slouched down, and eyes were heavy. People's questions weren't really getting answered, which made matters A LOT worse. When we finally left, for some reason I just wanted to cry. After having a long discussion with Jenny, we both came to the conclusion that we may not see the devil and evil spirits like the Zambians can, but we can most certainly feel them. I mean THINK about it...100 people bound together for this week of camp--with our faith, the devil doesn't have even the slightest chance. But he's sneaky. Bit by bit I felt myself getting worse and worse with exhaustion this week, so by Wednesday night, it hit.

Well, after reading about Joshua and thinking about the faith and determination this man had, I should have grabbed hold of the truth and ran with it. But I woke up this morning with the thought, "It's just another day of observations" plastered in my mind.  But man do I love how the Lord can surprise you. Today I went to the last LCA on my list to audit--Matero. I was back in a routine mindset--tired of doing the same thing over and over. We drove up and the coordinator welcomed me before I even got out of the bus. I was only able to stay for about 2 1/2 hours today, but I honestly can't give words to truly describe how I felt when I got back on the bus. I was alive. I could see how AMAZING these schools can be. Several need quite a bit of work, but this coordinator, these teachers, ahhh they loved these kids. Most of the children could speak English well enough and NONE of them could carry on a conversation when they came in February. In 5 months of instruction, these children were alive. I could see it on their faces. It was such a blessing. I feel like the Lord told me today, "It doesn't matter that you don't have the answers right now.. and that it looks like a huge project that you will never be able to accomplish... you aren't supposed to accomplish it, I am. You can do nothing without me. You're here to follow my lead. Rest in that." Man. I'm not to this point yet, but I pray that when I do finally rest in the Lord, this heavy weight will be lifted.

It's his work and his power that make things happen. Only Him. And all I really need to do is follow His lead. That should be my routine.