Find rest, O my soul, in God alone

Today marks a very very special day in my heart. In fact, it's probably one of the most unique days in my entire life.  Two years ago today, I met my son Eli and said yes to Jesus in pursuit of the adoption. May 16, 2012.  The day was breathtaking, unforgettable and one of the best I've ever had.  The first hug. The first look in his eyes. The first laugh together. The first time to play soccer. The first discussion we ever had--both not having any idea what the other was saying. :) The first time I looked at him and said, "YOU, Elijah, are my son." What an outrageous life transformation we have endured together. Today also marks the light at the end of the tunnel.  Three weeks from today is the last day of school for the 2013-2014 school year.   An ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR has passed. Woah.  Part of me feels like it's flown by and the other part of me feels like it has taken  forever . I remember reading this blog last year about how mom...

On the eve of the stressful STAAR test, I sit here in the calmness of my home listening to Eli's worship music in his room.  He's resting so quietly, so peacefully, so worry-free.  It's a wonderful place to be in. It's a beautiful image of the gospel: the redemption of my son. I think about those sweet Zambian children waking up full of complete joy as they skip off to class.  I think about those sweet Zambian orphans waking up full of complete sorrow as they wonder if they will get food today.  The Zambian women who head to the market to sell vegetables with their youngest tucked in a chitenge on their backs. And I'm filled with sorrow.  Sorrow for the broken.  Sorrow for the hurting. Sorrow for those who just want more. And I think about the people I've encountered while being back here in Texas. Those who are striving to so radically love Jesus in this cruel and evil world.  Those who don't know Jesus and are walking around wondering if they hav...

Ok so I totally had full intention of updating the blog throughout the last 5 months buuuuut lots happened--life happened, work happened, being a single mom continued to happen, but the blog just didn't happen :).  Sooo I'd love to recap the last few months for you! :) After Eli's 1 year Gotcha Day, we moved our new life to Euless, Texas where we began our very first home together as the Malnar family!  It was so excited to move to the DFW area and start focusing on the future! :) Literally, the day after we moved everything up here, I went on my "New Teacher Orientation". Yep... the next day. Boy was I exhausted!!  Good thing my mom was here to do all the unpacking ;). Eli went on his first day of Kindergarten in America and it was awesome!! He had so much fun and instantly made friends!! I mean, of course he did...he's such a charmer. In September, we basically just survived... and by survived I literally mean we barely survived...

1 year ago today, my entire life completely changed. I remember around 8:30p.m. before I slept my last night by myself, running frantically around my bedroom "baby-proofing" it.  Many things were placed out of reach of little fingers. I remember getting ready, eating breakfast, and getting in the car all in a daze of excitement, wonder, and joy.  As I turned on the street and saw the gate, a wave of nervousness swept over me. What if I'm not a good mom? What if I can't really do this? Am I sure this is the right step of obedience? Then the gate opened.  I turned the corner of the building and saw my sweet boy.  He was riding on a bike on the other side of the yard.  He saw me and dropped the bike in an instant.  He started running.  He dove into my arms and just squeezed. Then I whispered: "Today is the day.  You are coming home" We signed the papers and said goodbyes.  I remember walking out of the orphanage thinking that th...